Had the person I was been deleted and written over by this callous, often angry man, who hid in his house drinking too much when not wearing a uniform and being an asshole to the world at large?
I have smiled occasionally, and now even look specifically for things that will help me smile because I like smiling. I talk here about successes in my journey, rather than the horrors that put me on this path in the first place because it’s healthier for everyone, especially me.
Dignity is such a tender thing, gentle and diaphanous, and so easily disturbed that our reactions when it is can be very raw. When a person fits into the narrow little cubbyhole of expectations that our culture allows us, it’s easy to forget just how quickly it can be upset, because when we maintain that focus, keep up with the Joneses, it seems nailed on like aluminum siding when in reality we’re still only just pinning it to our faces with our own expectations.