Having a Linus’ blanket of your own does not mean you’re childish or weak, any more than it means your sister is a narcissistic sociopath who’s going to pull the football away every time your best friend tries to kick it.
While the persistent state of being serene can encompass contentment, that it might even be presumed in the understanding of the word, the latter is a much more slippery thing than the former. So much so that I struggle calling it a state of being even though I am pretty sure it’s not an emotion.
I wanted to begin getting out for events like this with other first responders, not only because my little hole in the ground was becoming constrictive, but because it’s important and I am eager to become more involved in my own healing, and that of others.
Active listening involves concentration, understanding, responding when appropriate and only to an appropriate degree, and letting the other person guide the conversation as they need. And it’s still a conversation so long as one person is talking (or snotting on your sleeve) and another is paying attention.
After my mother had passed, and already struggling with my injury worse than I ever had before, I remember sitting right here, at this very desk, and, wracked with big, heaving, sobs while the sun still shone outside my window, Googling “if I kill myself will I still go to heaven?”